Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Like A Rice Pudding With Its Skin

Today I want to talk to you about a DAIS Dimmable Electronic Transformer with 1.0KV Surge Protection (Ref DA-J60). "What on earth has that got to do with all that stuff you were going on about yesaterday?", I hear you ask. "Nothing", I reply, which is just the point. This week here on News From Nowhere, nothing connects, nothing makes sense, nothing rhymes. But isn't that a lovely packet? Look at the way the "dias" logo with its futurist font counterbalances the boxed solidity of the "DA-J60" reference number. Both seem to almost float above the ethereal display of product safety certificates, like the skin of a succulent rice pudding.

The box came into my possession as I handed the gubbins inside to Cousin Dave who was balanced on the top of a step ladder in our kitchen, repairing a broken light fitting. After the new fitting had been installed, I rewarded the intrepid handyman by asking him to share my latest excursion into "1001 Beers You Must Try Before You Die" : more specifically, a bottle of Liberty Ale from the Anchor Brewing Company of San Francisco. I carefully presented the bottle for his inspection as I read from the tasting notes, asking him to keep a weathered taste bud ready for the "citrus and resiny hop character with honey and light bready notes". The exotic mood was slightly punctured when we turned the bottle over to discover that the beer was imported by James Clay and Sons of Elland, West Yorkshire. Neither of us had ever heard of the firm before despite the fact that it is located within spittoon distance of our local pub, The Rock. Looking at their website we discovered that they import hundreds of rare beers from around the world into the UK.  For someone dedicated getting through the remaining 991 beers before death catches up on me, discovering the existence of this firm is rather like discovering that Shangri-La is on the far side of Keighley and El Dorado is on the outskirts of Liversedge. Sadly, the website says James Clay is "trade only" and does not sell direct to the public. So all I have to do now is to open a pub.

9 comments:

  1. Perhaps James Clay and Sons can provide you with updated lists of their latest deliveries. In fact, you might become a distributor of these lists. Whi knows where that could lead; fame, fortune, free beer.

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  2. Haha, I wouldn't put that past you, Alan! Moreover, you could compile a book full of your amazingly creative blog titles...

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  3. Good story with a surprise ending! Now I can't figure out the relation of the title to the story! Maybe the title belongs to a future post!!

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  4. Perhaps you could get a job as a taster at James Clay and walk to work.

    Thanks for the new vocabulary word. Gubbins is entirely new to me, but I plan to make good use of it from now on. In fact, I'm not sure how I ever got along without it.

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  5. Thank you Marilyn for the proof-reading. I owe you a beer.

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  6. Regardless of where Anchor brings in its beer from, it is still my favorite by far, in particular Anchor Steam Beer. I think this one is actually brewed in the San Francisco brewery. Regardless, this is a funny story Alan.

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  7. I'm still trying to figure out the post title, but realize that it really has no meaning. And yes you would do well owning a tavern, Alan. Just think of all those folks to chat with.

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  8. I hope your Cousin Dave didn't find himself DAISed and Confused, after his Liberty Ale!

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