Monday, December 06, 2010

It Seemed Like Such A Good Idea At The Time

It seemed like such a good idea at the time. There I was attending a virtual reality gathering which was supposedly taking place in the Scottish Highlands and Islands. I'd made my virtual way there by virtually visiting a large number of distilleries en route. Now that I was logged-on to Mr Toast's blog, I was chatting to people from all over the world : chatting about Scotland and whisky and having a good time. So why not carry out a unique experiment, an expedition to the hinterland that undoubtedly exists somewhere between fantasy and reality. Instead of virtually drinking each of the single malt whiskies, I would actually drink them. For real. In real time. Oh it all went well last night. As each successive glass of Jura or Cardhu or Glen Ord was downed, I became more eloquent and took on a writing style somewhere between Hemingway and William Faulkner. I became best friends with people I had never met before and even took to the dance-floor with the ever-gracious Betsy. But in the cold light of morning a price has to be paid. As I stumble into my room and find the half-empty bottles I begin to wonder just what I did and said last night. So I would like to issue an unlimited and universal apology to anyone I may have upset.

If I am quiet for the next couple of days don't assume it is the results of a hang-over. During a previous period of over-indulgence I agreed to give a talk to the Leeds Psychogeography Group entitled "The Circuitous Route : Chance, Information and Geography". All I have to do before Wednesday is to try and remember what I meant by this rather bizarre title. Let me leave you with wise words from William Faulkner :

“There is no such thing as bad whiskey. Some whiskeys just happen to be better than others. But a man shouldn't fool with booze until he's fifty; then he's a damn fool if he doesn't.” 


  1. Ah Alan it was indeed a pleasure to both make your acquaintance and learn some interesting tasting notes about your favourite tipple. I myself partook of a drop of Drambuie - regrettably there was barely one measure left in the bottle which was something of a disappointment, but probably just as well!

  2. Ooh, Alan I thought you were quite the gentleman, and despite your long nap in front of the roaring fire, you recharged your batteries and came to life on the dance floor !
    Such a pleasure to meet you, and partake of the cheeky wee whiskey !

  3. Psychogeography? What in the world (or out of it, given the psycho part) is that? Jung's synchronicity applied to geography? Ley lines? Sacred spaces? This is getting interesting!

    BTW, I forgot to mention yesterday that I actually own a square foot of land on Islay (got it by becoming a Friend of Laphroaig). If I'd known you were up there visiting I'd have given you the coordinates and you could have visited it for me.

  4. Roy : According to WikiP psychogeography is "the study of the precise laws and specific effects of the geographical environment, consciously organized or not, on the emotions and behavior of individuals" (and yes, I had to look it up as well). As for your bit of Islay, I will go in search of it when I am next up that way.

  5. Oh, no worries, Alan! You are always quite the gentleman even when full of Cardhu and Glen Ord!

    Loved the of my fondest memories of the night, dear. :) Thank you. I'm already looking forward to next year!

    And Roy...where were you? I was hoping for a dance. We needed a good photographer, too. Brian stole my camera when he found out I had pics of him sporting a fake tan, kilt, and a party hat balanced on his mowhawk! Curious yet? You need to go read through the party conversations. haha

    Thank you again, Alan. xo

  6. P.S.~ and that comic is just perfect...he's even wearing a kilt! haha

  7. There's never a dull moment when you are around. You did very well considering all the visits en route to the Castle!

  8. So you didn't mean all those things you whispered in my ear last night on your last dance?...... =O


    You were a hoot and a great delight to meet, Mr. Burnett. :)


  9. Sophia! He didn't! Did he???!

  10. It was the best of Tea Parties, and you looked quite handsome with a bottle in each hand. It was dancing with the bottles I thought the best!!

    TaTa till next year!

  11. Anonymous5:26 PM

    Everyone had a grand time at the Christmas Tea and it was so nice to make your acquaintance ; )

  12. Dear Alan,

    My heartfelt sympathies to you. oh, no, not FOR the elixirs which most certainly seemed to add to your merriment, but for this upcoming vague speech you must present! Yes, umm, good luck with that! Hhahha. You simply must tell us how it turned out! Oh dear me.

    In the meanwhile, rest up --you dance dup such a jog with the fittest and youngest of the lasies there at teh tea that they wore out far sooner. then again, perhaps it was yor dancing out in the snow that took the bisuit. :)

    thank you again, for coming ot my tea. Memorable indeed. you would have been sorely missed if you had not been able to attend.

  13. hehe. i am a bit surpised you are up and about already were a hoot at the party...

  14. Sorry, but whenever you're quiet for a few days, we ALWAYS assume it's from a hangover.

  15. Alan, I think your entire talk could be a list of past, present and future blog titles. Then just leave them guessing. -J

  16. Oh I love your quote!
    Now the title of your talk makes me suspect that it was decided on (made up) at the end of your long evening of downing the whiskies.

  17. Oh dear! You poor darling! Did you try hair of the dog in the morning?--Actually works for me XD

    It was lovely to make your acquaintance at the tea.

    PS--LOVE, love, love the comic

  18. This virtual party and beverages seem all too real and delightful.

  19. Aww, didn't play this year. Bad eye and sore head.

    Ok Mr Burnett, you're a shoe-in for a 10thDom entry so excuse my spruiking. Come out of the real world and write a little dissertation for one of our muses.

  20. Whisky - hmmmm, sorry, not my favourite!

    I made it up to Shipley (and back) and even managed to remember to wave at Huddersfield as I passed :)


Garden Visitor

  A chance photograph taken through the kitchen window in order to check to see if my Nikon B700 is still working. It is!