Thursday, June 04, 2015

Cure Yourself Of Everything (And Charge Your Mobile Phone)

Why is it that when commercial enterprises want to convey the idea of worldwide domination they go for some winged depiction of a woman wearing a flannelette nightgown? My ninety shares in the International Telephone and Telegraph Corporation have been rendered practically useless by the development of WhatsApp and its digital ilk and all I am left with is the familiar drawing of a woman gazing longingly at a globe. One is tempted to insert a bubble from her pensive lips saying things like "Good gracious, that's where Basingstoke is"

They had a different approach to commercial aggrandisement 150 years ago as this advert from the pages of the Halifax Courier shows.

Oh, I want (I need) an electric belt. Of course I have my full complement of aches and pains, but it is that love of solitude and groundless fears I really suffer from. And what better way to cure someone of their desire to be alone, what finer way to show that those fears are far from groundless, than 500 volts pulsing through your lumbar regions. With a little experimentation I am sure it would be possible to use the patent self-adjusting curative and electric belt to charge your mobile phone as well. That just might be the idea to turn the fortunes of the International Telephone and Telegraph Corporation around.


  1. I rather like that flannelette nightgown, and I think trying to turn over in bed wearing it could keep my mind off technology.

  2. Or, you could simply electrocute yourself...then you would no longer care about your useless IT &T stock...Oh, the tingle...

  3. Who needs an electric belt when you have an Apple watch?

  4. Who needs an electric belt when you have an Apple watch?

  5. I think she's looking at Alaska not Basingstoke.


Black Friar

For a time, during the late 1970s, I had a job leading parties of foreign visitors on tours of historic London pubs. One of my favourite sto...