Activating My DNA

It is 5.00am on a Sunday morning and I am feeling empty, lethargic and under the weather. The weather in question is a most unseasonable heavy cloud cover and being under it is enough to depress anyone's spirits. I need something to perk me up, something to regenerate me. I need my DNA activating!

I discovered DNA Activation whilst reading an article on "Selling Yourself Short" on a jolly little website called "Clover Coaching". The article was so tedious that I was tempted into following one of the links in the side-panel which took me to a section on DNA Activation (The motive power of boredom is mighty powerful and this is probably why side-panel links are so successful as I am sure you will discover shortly when you go off on your own trip down my side-panel). Anyway, back to DNA Activation : here was the therapy I had been searching for, the solution to all my cares, the salve for my troubled soul. But let me share this simple explanation of DNA Activation taken from the website in question.

DNA Activation
There are 12 strands of DNA. Each strand has layers that have different functions both in the body and in the quantum field. The average person has approximately 8-9% of their DNA activated; 2 strands instead of 12. DNA activation enhances your intuition and your capacity to connect at deeper levels. I activate DNA in a simple and elegant process, which can be done in person or by telephone. Changes in vibration and frequency levels will continue to occur for approximately 30 days after activation. Further activations and capacities are also enabled as you grow and evolve. This is like having further software updates automatically installed when the system is ready or as new capacities are enabled.

Here was a stunningly simple explanation of all my problems. Why had I not been able to update the Blog as frequently as I would like? Why had I been waking up at five in the morning suffering from negative thoughts? Why had the middle toenail on my left foot started to attack my own flesh with the forcefulness of a religious fundamentalist? Quite simple : I was not making use of the full potential of my DNA. I needed a new set of software updates installing and the good news was that this could be achieved by a "simple and elegant process" via the telephone. I am desperate to give it a try, but I it is still only 5.30am on a Sunday morning. Assuming that the therapist in question has fully activated their own DNA, I suppose that they are not suffering from early-morning wakening and therefore they would not welcome my early morning cry from the soul.

All I can do to pass the time before I can get my human software upgrade is to tell you why I was in search of articles on "selling short". The answer is Ira Gershwin and Vernon Duke's splendid little song "I Can't Get Started". I am sure you remember the lyrics:

I've flown around the world in a plane

I've settled revolutions in Spain

The North Pole I have charted,

but I can't get started with you

Around the golf course I'm under par

And all the movies want me to star

I've got a house, a show place,

but I get no place with you

You're so supreme, lyrics I write of you

Scheme, just for a sight of you

Dream, both day and night of you

And what good does it do?

In 1929 I sold short

In England I'm presented at court

But you've got me downhearted,

cause I can't get started with you

It is that final verse which caught my eye (or to be exact, caught my ear). "In 1929 I sold short" is a peach of a line. Selling short is a clever little speculative devise used by traders who believe the market is heading for a fall. If you are selling short you sell a stock you don't actually own. The strategy is based on the belief that in a falling market you will be able to actually buy the stock at an even lower price before you have to actually deliver it (there, I said it was clever didn't I). The genius of Gershwin is the ability to take a somewhat complex economic concept and blend it perfectly into the song.

If you read the financial pages at the moment you will be aware that people are once again "selling short". The markets are falling and economic confidence is in retreat. We are undoubtedly heading for hard times. It's worrying, so worrying that I woke up at 5.00am this morning. Which is why I need my DNA activating.