Sunday, January 01, 2017

Lost England And A Selfie Stick


The turkey has been baked and the mince pies have been  plucked. Stretching ahead of me is week after week of endless ... nothingness. Time to sit back and investigate the splendid presents I received and think seriously about new year resolutions.

After what seems like buckets-full of dropped hints, Santa finally came up with the goods and delivered a selfie-stick. The only problem seems to be that he has delayed things so long that old-age has presented me with a tremor, which when multiplied by the laws of physics and the length of the said stick, means that the camera swings around like a drunken albatross, blurring every effort to capture my true likeness. My conclusion is that selfie-sticks are for the young.

Not that I blame Santa, who surely suffered enough whilst delivering one of my other presents - the gigantic "Lost England" by Philip Davies (which surely must take the prize as one of the heaviest books published in 2016). His badly sprained back is a small price to pay for delivering this excellent volume, a full review of which I will provide in due course (if you still need it, Georgina). 

As far as resolutions are concerned, I intend to press on with the resolutions I put in place last year - to be more disorganised, more meaningless and less structured. I think I have done quite well in meeting these fine objectives over the last twelve months, but there is always room for improvement - so watch this space.

I would like to finish by hoping that the year ahead brings us all peace and prosperity, but I seem to recall wishing the same things last year ... and look where that got us! Thus as 2017 appears over the horizon, I raise a glass and wish one and all, "survival".

10 comments:

  1. Happy New Year, Alan! Yeah, I decided that selfie sticks weren't for me, either, especially since my regular camera has a remote control. So all I do is set up the tripod and pose.

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  2. A happy 2017 to you, Alan. Sorry for your tremor but love the resolutions...Survival indeed!

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  3. happy New Year. Have a great 2017. I don't have to make a resolution to be disorganized.

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  4. I love your selfie. At least you're in the frame. I'm usually well under it with only the top of my head showing. I agree they must be for the young. "Survival" — in 2017!

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  5. Happy New Year Alan and family, and absolutely yes please Alan. Thanks very much Gx
    I will Facebook you the Chef's email address. He says if you can manage in less than 500 words; 400-500 if poss. that would be brilliant.
    My New Year's resolution is to try and get rid of some stuff. All those pieces of paper and what not I keep lying around the place because I can't make up my mind if I want them or not. I embarked on a trial yesterday and discovered a new bra which arrived by post in a small black envelope some months ago. I had quite forgotten about it. Let's see if I can keep at it?
    Sorry to hear about the drunken albatross.

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  6. Time, that sly devil, plays with us all. Keep happy and healthy this new year.

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  7. Well, that is good to know about the selfie stick. I have a feeling my arthritic hands wouldn't be able to hold it! The picture you posted turned out great, though!
    The book sounds fascinating. Glad Santa brought it to you. You must have been on the Nice List! :)
    Happy New Year!

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  8. I've never tried a selfie stick yet. Your post kind of confirms my doubts... LOL

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  9. Selfie sticks are going out of fashion any way. I love your resolutions I might use them too. Enjoy that beautiful book.

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  10. I tease a friend of mine who likes to use her stick. The photos of groups of people are great but she looks like someone has stabbed her with sword. Who would think we would be taking pictures of our own self and find so many creative ways to use the stick.

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