In 1848, the British Admiralty came up with a practical experiment to determine, once and for all, the most efficient method of propelling a steamship. For some time the exponents of the new screw propeller had sung its praises against the more traditional paddle wheels. Paddle wheelers thought propeller supporters nothing short of screwy. So the Admiralty arranged for a paddle steamer, HMS Alecto, to go head-to-head (or rather stern-to-stern) with a prop driven boat, HMS Rattler. A cable was thrown between the two ships and the captains were ordered to sail away from each other at full steam. Rattler won. towing Alecto astern at 2.5 knots, and from that moment on the days of the paddle steamer were numbered.
I was reminded of the beauty of this experiment the other day when I considered two new Apps I had acquired for my gleaming new iPhone. The first was "The Mobile Good Beer Guide" from the Campaign For Real Ale (CAMRA). This little beauty uses the iPhones GPS facility to (a) calculate where you are; (b) work out the closest CAMRA listed pubs selling real hand-pulled ale to your current location; and (c) provide you with detailed instructions on how to stagger to the pub. The search facility provides you with a list of Good Beer listed pubs in order of their distance from your current location.
Up against the CAMRA App is one from the software firm Skycoders called Cask Finder. This uses the brewing industry supported Cask Marque listing of over 4,000 pubs which have met minimum standards for keeping and serving real, cask-conditioned, beer. It uses your current GPS determined location to provide you with a map of all Cask Marque pubs in your locality. On the surface of things, the Cask Finder App seems to have a lot going for it : it is free (compared to £5 for the CAMRA App) and it provides other information such as lists of Beer Festivals and the location of breweries. But, of course, the only way to really determine the winner of this particular contest is to organise a trial. So within the next few days I am hoping to persuade the Good Lady Wife to drive me to some random unknown location. I will then sample the nearest recommended Cask Finder pub and the nearest Good Beer Guide recommended pub. The contest will be decided head-to-head, or rather pint-to-pint. It will not be easy, but someone has got to do it. For research. For posterity. Think of it as my contribution to modern technology.
MORE FROM NEWS from NOWHERE
an app made with you in mind me thinks Alan
ReplyDeleteAnonymous obviously knows me, but I don't know anonymous.
ReplyDeleteOne of the courageous few,
ReplyDeleteAlan travelled each lonely mile.
In desperate search of the perfect brew
Wood cask, brass tap and porous spile.
Magical Martin, It is going on my Blog front page.
ReplyDeleteWhich app will be the screw and which the paddle, and will the GLW drive him home after the contest? Life in Yorkshire, eh.
ReplyDeleteWatch this space for the answers to all these exciting questions.
ReplyDeleteYou pick the tough assignments! Loved the ship story.
ReplyDeleteOh my word! Alan, only you could manage to discover not one but TWO apps designed to seek out good beer. Heh, heh! I'll be interested to see the results of the test.
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHA.
ReplyDeleteI can see the headline now. "News from Nowhere: Alan Burnett sacrifices himself to show the world that, yes, there is an easy way to locate good alcohol. Memorials to be held at every pub and bar on planet Earth."
pircu - an individual's likelihood of coming to a conclusion, usually depicted as a percentage.
My son loves his Iphone...and it came in very handy while we were in flordia for finding places we wanted to be!
ReplyDeleteHaha trust you to find that one! I watched a show last night where they had an app to detect your brand of deodorant! A spoof of course! But does it make a morning cup of tea? Good luck on your Mission and persuading your good lady wife!
ReplyDeleteI would leave a longer comment but Im off to download the Beer App!
ReplyDeleteWhen we were on holiday in the UK a couple years ago, my husband would have killed for an app like that. However, the poor dear managed despite the handicap.
ReplyDeleteAlan, I do like the way your mind works, leaping to the challenges we may only dream of accomplishing!
ReplyDeleteAnd, my dear 'stange man' the local graveyard is one of my first stops in a visiting town. -J
May I join you? My Dear Husband, MDH, who does not know a good pint from a poor watered down American brew, said he wishes me God speed as I wish to rush across the Atlantic! Posh!
ReplyDelete