New Study Shows Beer Is Good For You

Following hot on the tail of a series of news items showing that everything from bacon sarnies through to smiling are potentially bad for you, I can exclusively reveal the first results of a new scientific study which clearly shows that beer is good for you.

Following a "funny turn" a few weeks ago the doctor decided I had high blood pressure. Every time my blood pressure was taken in the surgery it was high, whenever I took it at home it was low. Attempts to suggest that my raised blood pressure might have resulted from a swift walk up the steep hill to the surgery and/or a perfectly reasonable fear of doctors was met with scorn. To settle the matter I was yesterday fitted with a 24 hour blood pressure monitor. The results of this test are now available and they make interesting reading.

In the first place they show that I have the blood pressure of a man half my age and twice my fitness. This comes as no surprise and is a clear vindication of the point I have been trying to make over recent weeks. Knowing that the overall results would be as they were, I decided to undertake a little sub-test. The machine took my blood pressure every 30 minutes. At 10.30 this morning when it was taken I was in the middle of a hour-long strenuous walk with Amy the dog. At 1.30 this afternoon when it was taken I was sat in the Richard Oastler in Brighouse enjoying a pint of Hook Norton Hooky Gold.

When the monitor was eventually taken off and the results fed into a computer I specifically noted the 10.30 and 1.30 readings. The results show quite clearly that my blood pressure was considerably lower when drinking the pint of Hooky Gold compared with when I was running up the hill with the dog.

Now according to the latest NHS Blood Pressure advice sheet - and I quote -

"Nowadays, doctors think that keeping your blood pressure as low as possible can help prevent further strokes, even if it has never been high in the past".

Need I say any more? Cheers.