(I had to wait five weeks for the switch-on of my cochlear implant so you can wait a few days for the next part of the story. In the meantime, a moan)
I know I am old not because I forget things or take more time doing the simplest of things. I know I am old not by the fact that when I have to bend down to tie my shoe-lace I try to think if there is anything else needs doing whilst I am down there. No, I know I am old because I have become ceaselessly grumpy. I cannot watch television without shouting words like "ridiculous" or "get a life". I cannot enjoy a quiet pint without wanting to pull the plug out of the adjacent music tv projector. I cannot walk the dog without wanting to write angry letters to the Council. If I send the letters they get me nowhere - there is probably a file with my name written on it - so today I will post my angry letter to the world instead.
Respected Sir,
You will be aware that several months ago a bevy of Council workers started fitting banners to the lamp-posts on the main roads leading into town. These banners are situated some thirty or forty feet above street level and therefore are almost impossible to see from a passing car. If examined in detail - with the aid of either a long step-ladder or a long focal length camera lens - they reveal messages such as "Summer Buzz in Libraries"
I would appreciate it if someone could explain to me what on earth is the point of these ridiculous pieces of plastic. I assume they cost a considerable amount of money. They convey no useful or indeed no literate message. As they don't advertise any third party service they obviously bring in no revenue. And they get in the way of the bloody sky!
Does nobody in the Town Hall sit down and work out whether the latest silly idea is of any worth or value. Does nobody try to calculate whether a scheme provides any value added to the poor citizens of the town such as myself. Has anyone ever tried to calculate whether such plastic monstrosities have ever caused one additional pair of feet to cross the threshold of the local library. What possible use are such things other than to a passing giraffe?
Yours, in exasperation,
A Burnett, Council Tax Payer from Fixby.
I'm not certain, but I think that members of your town council might be blood relatives of the geniuses that run my town. You might drop in on a meeting and let them know how much humor (thanks to you) they're providing to outsiders.
ReplyDeleteLove the heartfelt ranting! -Jayne
ReplyDeleteI do not want to wait, but guess I will have to. I got all involved into the stories and one had me ROFLMAO, Hitler salute, hmmm, friends ignorning you in a pub, yup I was laughing. Great stories and then I could hardly wait to hear the end. But patience is a virtue, so I will wait.
ReplyDeleteSeems like you have the same dumb politicans running things that we have here. I think they are all just getting their hands greased with money from the people who own these project things and that is why they agree with them. Our governemts at any level from the small city to the Federal Obama nation has so much crap being paid for with our tax money and they never want us to really see what they are spending it on. Lobbyist's should be banned from the country. Every thing should be voted on and approved by the citizens to see if we want to take OUR tax money and spend it on these things. There is no transparency and it is all so secretive. Does not matter which party you belong to, they both do this crap and we need to rebel and start insisting that they let us decide by majority votes. Every month we should have to vote on approval of what should be spent and they need to find the cheapest price. Paying double for ham is so stupid and a waste of our money. They could have fed twice the amount of people and if these people cannot do their jobs properly then they should lose their jobs. Job security should be based on how well of a job you do.
In my eyes GOVERNMENT EQUALS CORRUPTION, that is all we see. And do to the secrecy, most people do not know this. Government workers should only be allowed to work so many terms and that is it. Term limits for all elected officials. This should help control corruption and if government workers want to keep a job then they have to pass efficency tests to stay there for any extra years. If they are not efficent they do not belong there.
We are taxed and taxed and taxed to where we no longer have any money. Read a utility bill and there are about 10 to 20 extra taxes added on that were not there 15 years ago. It seems every year we get one more added on. Our bills cost us twice as much as before just due to taxes added on and plus the basics just keep increasing too.
Pretty soon we will not be able to buy food. I am trying to figure out how to turn my back yard into a little mini farm to grow as much fruits and vegetables as we can to save money. If it gets worse I will have to do it to the front yard. Put a big fence up and do it there.
Not sure how I got to writing so much, but you will see I tend to do this, especially if I get on a bandwagon about a certain subject, and corruption in government is my most hated thing in the world right now.
God bless.
Our little city has those same banners, which are changed on a regular basis. But ours are positioned much lower on the lamp posts and can be easily read by traffic, as well as pedestrians. Good point. Great letter.
ReplyDeleteAnd they get in the way of the bloody sky!
ReplyDeleteWhat a wonderful rant!
Could you take a trip to the West Midlands, it needs sorting out and you seem just the man for it.
Hope your public "letter" does the trick. At least it won't be ignored, it might just not be read by the "right" people :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks for all the comments. I will keep my eye on the lamp-posts to see if the complaint had any effect.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking the kid on that banner is a little too goofy to get actual kids into the library. What a fun rant!
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAH!
ReplyDeleteIf that's the definition of old, then I'm old, too!
Intolerance of the ridiculous is the preserve - indeed the right - of the old.
ReplyDeleteOh My Goodness - your behaviour of ranting at the TV sounds just like my Dad. I had no idea it was an age thing - I am enlightened (and forthwith shall be more forgiving)
ReplyDeleteAs for the flags, I think I would find the same issue. What a waste of money. The "Summer Buzz in Libraries" is probably a really good initiative too - shame they chose a zoo keeper to market it...